Reading: When a Friend Steals from You
It ‘s a double blow, to lose your hard-earned cash or property and to have such valuables taken by person you know. Both aspects of the crime are rotten. The challenge, as the victim, is handling both forms of treachery to keep the putrefaction from taking clasp. ad
It ‘s a paradox to be certain, to cultivate entrust even as you recognize that people violate it ; or to accept that a crime was perpetrated against you without allowing it to recast your identity. The point is to move on from the event while learning from it, and to reclaim both your stuff and your assurance. It ‘s not comfortable, and it much hurts like hell, but such is the work of healing. imagine this : you call your employer to see what happened to last month ‘s paycheck since it did n’t arrive. They tell you that your paycheck was already cashed. You ‘re dumbfounded, having never seen it. then the HR person starts back-peddling, thinking that disturb might be coming. He contacts the bank and discovers where check went. When you hear the name on the history, you ‘re flabbergasted. The report belongs to person you know, and have counted as a friend, person who has no commercial enterprise with your money. now what ? Let ‘s say you decide to confront the person whose explanation was credited. She denies all cognition of the situation, but later that night her spouse shows up at your house and gives you the demand amount of money that was illegally deposited. No matter the concurrence that this guy wants to give you the precise amount contained on missing paycheck just for the heck of it. Oh yeah, by the way, he disavows any cognition of the criminal action associated with forging your signature and stealing your money. Weird, huh ? This happened, and it gets weirder still. Like when your alleged acquaintance shows up at your workplace to “ talk to you ” about the site. Or when her conserve calls you repeatedly on the telephone, begging you not to “ tell. ” thing is, “ tell ” you must, for many reasons, including your own protection. ad
therefore you go to the patrol and tell the history. They ‘re responsive and respectful, and sincerely regretful that you actually accepted the money ( even though you only put it in an envelope and present it, otherwise untouched, to the officer ). obviously the refund means that the situation is immediately a civil, not a criminal, count and the police ca n’t do all that a lot to help. however, the officeholder does call the womanhood to say, “ We know what you did. ” She has the resentment to tell the officeholder that you gave her conserve the check. fortunately, the policeman does n’t buy any of that bunk and directs the pair, in no unsealed terms, to “ stay aside ” from you. Should they try to approach you again, well, that ‘s harassment and carries consequences. then much for the past — and the future ; the question is what to do in the present. right here, right immediately, it ‘s all you can do to hold the paradoxes in your hands. You ‘re angered at the betrayal, and you ‘re mourning the loss of your ( illusive ) friendship. You ‘re astounded at the thief ‘s audacity and baffled by her stupidity and meanness. You feel alone in a bad, bad populace, and you feel embraced by the friends, class and colleagues who continue to stand by you. You feel everything — mindful of all the contradictions — and you wish you were asleep, so you need n’t feel anything at all. At the end of the day, the hale miserable experience distills into a simple teaching on ethics, mindfulness and compassion. There is correct and wrong to this situation. The ethics are clear, yet the emotions can seem cloudy. ad
We get through these experiences by staying introduce with our feelings and thoughts. The theme is to ride the wave of events, evening if it means crashing through lies and violations. We fear that nothing can help, the perpetrators or ourselves. There are tears of anger, grief and loss of purity. Saltwater tears, like the ocean ‘s spray, sting.
possibly we feel good-for-nothing for ourselves, and possibly for whatever it was that drove our friends to betrayal. compassion grows here, for all victims and all perpetrators — accountable as they are, they suffer, excessively. In the end, it ‘s the compassion that saves the day, because it helps us bring around. And so it is that mindfulness provides the balance to ride out the waves of larceny and passing, of stolen money and unwrap trust. And then, when the beckon breaks, it ‘s the compassion that supports us, like deep, however, buoyant body of water in which we float to condom. Deborah Schoeberlein is the author of “ Mindful Teaching and Teaching Mindfulness : A Guide for Anyone Who Teaches Anything. ” She has more than 20 years ‘ experience teaching fifth- through twelfth-grade students, developing curricular materials, providing professional development for teachers and pursuing mercenary journalism. presently, she directs a multi-site school-based health center for kindergarten through twelfth-grade students and their teachers .