Neil Patrick Harris
Neil has serious host art, and he knows the Oscars will be his magnum musical composition. not above making himself look cockamamie ( he did three Harold and Kumar movies, after all ), he sends a quick snapshot to Josh Radnor, who will without a doubt be watching the Oscars. You know, at his house. Like the early peasants. “ I wonder what Josh is up to today, ” Neil wonders in earnest. credibly not much since that batch of a How I Met Your Mother stopping point. “ But the Oscars will make them all forget about that, ” he thinks. It ‘s all a separate of his devilish plan …
Michael is sincerely overturn that there ‘s no blacken color to draw in his Batman cowl ( badly, there is n’t, it ‘s what stagnates my snapsterpieces ) but he makes do with what he has. He ‘s pretty confident, he made a film that is both charmingly meta and arty enough to snag that Oscar, so farseeing as Boyhood does n’t usurp the title. Of naturally this was the year of movies that applied cinematic invention to otherwise aggressively fine films. Of course. Whatever, if he can even take home plate the Best Actor Oscar it ‘ll all be worth it. At 2 am he will drunk textbook, “ SUCK IT, BITCH, I ‘M BATMAN, ” to Christian Bale, regardless of whether he wins or not .
Bradley Cooper and Betty White
Remember how on Valentine ‘s Day Snapchat added a “ Me & Bae ” filter, everyone posted in truth sardonic photos of them and their “ baes, ” and I was more than always proud of our generation ? Well, this is all in businesslike. What can I say, after that romantic kiss on Saturday Night Live , Bradley and Betty have been the newfangled it couple of Hollywood. Suki Water-who ?
What a plot twist ! Meryl does n’t even care anymore, you guys. She ‘s been nominated for an prize for like, every Academy Awards since the ’70s. This time for playing a wiccan in Into the Woods. Let ‘s be honest, did anyone tied see that movie ? But any, she ‘s proud of her accomplishments and shares her mock thrill with a catch to Hillary Clinton along with a television photograph of her rolling her eyes during Neil ‘s possibility monologue. The latter will belated get her nominated for an Oscar.
Bill Murray and Wes Anderson
Wes, God bless him, is like the Manic Pixie Dream Boy of directors, so of run he ‘s going to bring BFF Bill as his date. in the first place it was going to be a life-size Gingerbreadwoman, but Bill talked him out of it. That ‘s what friends are for : they keep you from making moves that are less delightfully eccentric and more frame on brainsick Willy Wonka territory. It ‘s a very well credit line with Wes. He ‘s grateful, so he made Tilda Swinton take this snap of them, before she flapped her gallant wings and vanish across the red carpet. Wes then decorated it with a handful of capricious stars and darling emojis, albeit not all of the emojis made sense. Like that patty ? The cake was a small weird and motiveless like, possibly it works as a Grand Budapest Hotel reference, but not in the context of this detail night. Oh, Wes, you delightfully bizarre chap. He send this snapshot to Tony Revolori, who is n’t even at the Academy Awards for some reason. Do n’t worry, Tony, you ‘re only about six films away from joining the clique .
Reese Witherspoon, Laura Dern, Emma Stone and Julianne Moore
Reese, like Meryl, has already snatched her Oscar, so she ‘s by and large down to party. For that she ‘s snagged some fellow nominees ( including her Wild co-star Laura ) for a selfie, and probs drinks subsequently if this temper snubs all of them. actually, if you ‘ve seen that video of her, Cara Delevingne and Zooey Deschanel at the Met Ball, you know that the the death part is a real possibility. It ‘ll credibly be documented in full. Reese is n’t like a regular ma, she ‘s a cool ma, and she ‘s down with the whole Snapchat thing. Yeah, she had to ask Emma how to take a picture, and yes, she asked four times what that “ 0 MPH ” thing means ( do n’t worry, Reese, I do n’t know either ) but she ‘s all about proving to her daughter Ava that she has this sociable media thing nailed. It ‘ll be a bonus if these Snaps contract to Ryan Phillippe, excessively, who ‘s baby-sitting the careers, looking solemnly beautiful, wondering where his career went .
John Legend, Chrissy Teigen, and Benedict Cumberbatch
It ‘s a good night. John is nominated for “ Glory ” from Selma. Chrissy is n’t making that weird overwhelmed face of hers. They decide to take add a snap to their story, to capitalize on the moment. It is merely late that they realized they ‘ve been Cumberbombed. Goddammit.
Everyone ‘s been snapping him this opinion the WHOLE DAY, like it ‘s the funniest thing in the global, like he even made a movie this year, so he painfully adds this to his feed. He tried calling Amy Adams earlier to see if she wanted to share a carton of Ben & Jerry ‘s, but he lone reached her voice mail, and the voice mail he leaves was nothing but shriek and heaving shortness of breath. He spends the night weeping gently into Kate Winslet ‘s lick, and finally retires to his bedroom, filled with several blonde models from this calendar month ‘s Victoria ‘s Secret catalog. The trouble is so real. Images: Mary Grace Garis/Getty (8)